my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
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Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.