i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
