How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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