I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
