How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
two words: eviction party
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
