So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
