The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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