So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
