Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Houston, we have a blender
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
