at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
