we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
