Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
