with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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