let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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