Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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