I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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