I wish i was in the wii world.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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