Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
