I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
BRING THE BAGELS
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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