I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
