We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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