i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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