he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
