Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
