Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
