therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
