I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
