you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
