He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
