We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
