And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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