Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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