Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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