did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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