I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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