do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
