also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize