She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
