We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
