...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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