I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
