fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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