did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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