I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
