Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
