why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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