You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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