Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
