Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the raccoons are back...
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