NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize