I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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