are you so shy because you have an std?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
