Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
