So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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