come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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