In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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