Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.