he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.