Only a mothe r could love this liver
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
