it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
