i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
