I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
