yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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