Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
